
It’s been four months when he courted me. He made me the most special person in the world. He almost gave me the world and I never noticed it, instead I look at the things which he can’t offer me. Time is one thing. I want him to text me every minute, I forgot he has his life too. I want him to make efforts, I forgot he did everything just to make me happy but I didn’t noticed it. Instead I keep on complaining. I want him to do this and that, I forgot that I am not his Mom to tell him what to do and what shouldn’t be done. I want him to go home before 8pm, he did. I forgot he has friends too. I forgot that he isn’t perfect so as me. Last night he told me how much he loves me, but he’s fed up with constant fight. I almost cried. I don’t know perhaps I don’t want to lose him. For all those times that he tried to win me back whenever I feel like giving up, for all those times that he told me that we will last forever, for all those times he hold my hand. I never thought we’ll come to an end. I told him to give me once more chance, to proved to him that I already learned my lesson. I know its awkward since I am the girl. But I guess I deserved that. Its not being desperate, its only one way of telling him that loving is not about letting go. Wooh. I feel like my heart is going to explode any moment. I love him still. And I want to save this relationship. No matter how hard it is.
I’ll do everything just to win him back. I know its hard, but its even harder if I’ll let him go.

I’ve always dream of going to Paris with the person I am going to spend my life with. When I say the person I’m going to spend my whole life with, it means the guy I loved, will love and the guy I want to see from the very moment I open my eyes early in the morning. I would love to tour around the world with him. But Paris France would be the first country we’re going to visit. We’ll go shopping together, take pictures in every places we went, hugs & kisses, exchanging sweet nothings & promising that no matter what happen we’ll stay together through thick and thin. And we’ll love and trust each other for the rest of our life.
I want you to be the first one to wake up beside me. I want you to be the first one around whom I will feel completely vulnerable & probably a little awkward. I want you to be the first one whom I share all my feelings. I want you to be the one who knows me better than anyone else, but I’m sure that I’m going to keep some stuff inside. That’s what I do & you’ll probably be frustrated with me because of that. I will act different and strange & you’ll want to know what’s going on, but I won’t tell you. & it’s not your fault.
I want you to know that I love you. I wouldn’t be writing this letter if I didn’t love you. I love you more than anything and anyone, and no one will ever change that.
You should know, though, that you are not the only person I have loved. You may not be the first one to hold my hand, & you may not be the first one which I think about before I go to sleep. You may not be the first one whom I have stayed up nights thinking about. You may not be the first one whose calls I have waited for, & whose silence I have lamented. You may not be the first one I have cried about, nor be the first one to bring an instant smile to my face.
& believe it or not, this will not be the first love letter I have written. This will not be as special for me as it is for you. But what makes it different is that, even though you will not be the first person I have loved, you will be the first person who will love me back. I have friends, best friends, crushes & a number of other relationships with equally vague names, but you will be my first lover. I think that’s special & even though you will not be the first person I have loved, I love you.
More than anyone & anything else, I love you. I love you so much, more than you will ever believe, and I can’t wait to meet you.
Your future lover,
Mhazey